Darksome nights of the soul
There have been times when my writer’s block had gotten so bad that I went through several years without writing anything. This happened almost thirty years ago when I had my first nervous breakdown. At that time, the issues that led up to it were personal. I pulled through. The after-effects I suffered from that fallout lasted for decades but I pulled through, I think, a stronger person than before with more wisdom and insight into myself. I started writing again and submitting my work. Some time afterward, came the indie writer’s revolution, as I like to call it. During this time I was more productive as a writer than I had ever been in my life. I learned a lot about myself as a writer and I began to truly understand how my own creative process worked. I also learned that I could earn a living as a writer if I learned the necessary things to keep me in the game. Dean Wesley Smith taught me that.
Then came a massive, terrible family crisis that battered through us like a wrecking ball. I dropped everything to run to the aid of a sibling. Her life completely fell apart and she was no longer able to handle life. I was watching someone I love walk through a Dark Night of the Soul. I nearly lost my own job trying to help her. i also went through some financial issues at the same time that impacted the situation even further.
It was then that I realized that while it is important to give aid and comfort to family and friends in dark times of need, it’s equally important to not lose yourself in their night. I stopped writing once again even though I still had a book in a series to finish. I simply dropped off. I lost interest in my website and business, my books, writing new work, and even in my subscriber list on Mailchimp. In fact, Mailchimp had closed my account and had gotten rid of my mailing list and I had no idea until a year and a half later!
Needless to say, that wasn’t the right way to go about things. And though it’s difficult to know how you will react to a disastrous event, what I have learned is that forcing myself to write on a regular schedule no matter what is happening in my life is as important for my creative mind as prayer during dark times is for my spiritual mind.
We all will go through a Dark Night of the Soul in this fallen and dark world. But there is always a path to get back on track towards the sun and refusing to let everything in your life to crash may help you get back on track sooner to equilibrium and better self-knowledge.
